


The Cracked Egg

by Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts



Series: Cephalothorax AU [2]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Dad Robbie Rotten, Dad Sportacus (LazyTown), Elf Sportacus (LazyTown), Fantastic Racism, M/M, Mild Gore, Minor Character Death, Monster Baby, Slavery, but it's just an oc, drider, drider au, egg, follow the spiders, glanni does what he wants and i have no control, technically uncles but its their kid, they adopted the hell out of the kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-29
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-20 18:37:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 17,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9505982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts/pseuds/Scorpius_Wears_Short_Skirts
Summary: Robbie gets a message which leads himself and Sportacus to a new adventure; Parenthood.{Sequel to Cephalothorax}





	1. Follow the Spiders

**Author's Note:**

> This universe that I created refuses to get out of my brain.  
> Also, it doesn't actually matter in the slightest but Sportacus is shirtless for this whole chapter.

Sportacus awoke one morning to the tickling sensation of tiny feet crawling over his bare stomach. When he squinted down he saw a uniform line of marching spiders. Now, he was used to having spider legs on his body, but this was a much smaller scale and he didn’t know any of the tiny arachnids. He gently brushed them off and got out of their way, careful not to crush any. He had no clue why they were there but he had no doubt it was something to do with his mate. The thought was confirmed when the apparent leader of spiders started waving a small, unknown object in an attempt to get attention.

“Robbie?” He reached to shake the Drider awake. “Wake up. I don’t know what this is.”

Robbie groaned and yawned, picking the leader of spiders up to squint at it. “What?”

The spider just waved the object again.

Robbie took it in his other hand, looking it over and then sniffing it. He thought for a moment, then shot straight up. He dropped what he was given, set the spider down, and quickly followed the line. 

“Robbie, wait!” Sportacus called, picking up the discarded object before quickly following, not bothering to put his shirt or hat back on.

He turned the cause of upset over in his hand as he followed, realizing it was a bit of eggshell covered in silk on one side. He ran to catch up with Robbie, doing his best not to step on the spiders as the line continued. How many spiders even were there? It had to be well into the millions.

“What happened?” The Elf called, Robbie showing no sign of slowing.

“Go home!” Robbie shouted back, disappearing into the forest and out of sight.

Sportacus wavered, unsure of whether to do as he was told or follow. Something important had happened. What, he couldn’t be sure, but judging on his mate’s reaction it was something important. He went back to his airship, sending a letter to his father to watch Lazytown, then took a bicycle back down. He was glad Robbie was following the trail of spiders, as it gave him an easy way to find him again.

Robbie didn’t waste his breath telling the Elf to go home again, he just continued onward past the safety of Ithrotaalfurin's wards. Sportacus’s crystal buzzed at his chest, not beeping or flashing, but still picking up on the distress of the Drider. The eggshell was a message of some sort and something had gone very wrong.

It took the men three and a half days to end their journey. The trail of spiders stopped at a hole under a tree. Another den, Sportacus realized. There was a rotting smell emanating from it, but Robbie crawled right in anyway. 

Sportacus dropped in after him, blinking a moment to let his eyes adjust to the dark. On the floor of the den was a Drider woman, laying awkwardly on her side, skin greying and fur patchy. Her neck was torn open from jaw to clavicle. She had been dead a few days at least, an obvious murder. Sportacus felt sick. 

Robbie was frozen for a moment before bending to close the lady’s eyes. He looked around the den, noticing torn webs in the corner. He remembered the eggshell and sighed. The eggs had been taken. He returned to the woman and put a hand to one of her tightly coiled legs. It shifted, revealing another speckled, grey egg. A shallow crack was apparent, but nothing appearing to be leaking. He picked it up, focusing on the residual warmth. There was a chance it survived.

“Was she…?” Sportacus began, breaking the silence.

Robbie had nearly forgotten he was there. 

“Charlotte… My sister.” He confirmed shortly, passing the egg to his hind legs to be gently wrapped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Support my original story on Patreon?  
> Link: https://www.patreon.com/catdogwhatever


	2. Nesting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie "Mother Hen" Rotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugly quilts from grandparents are the most comfortable things in the world.

The egg was carried back to Robbie’s den on the Drider’s back. The journey home was slower, less dire but just as serious. 

Sportacus was tired enough to simply walk, his bicycle hoisted onto his shoulder. He looked to the bundle of silk casing the egg. Robbie clearly cared for his sister to take what she had died protecting. He hoped the egg would survive. 

Ithrotaalfurin greeted them when they finally returned to the edge of town, having felt his son’s presence easily. The older Elf pulled Sportacus into a strong hug before looking to Robbie, noticing the lump of silk and frowning, confused. The Drider didn’t meet his eye and slunk into the den. 

“What happened? Where did you two go?” Ithrotaalfurin asked.

Sportacus sighed, looking to the den before leading his father away. He explained the situation, recounting the short but stressful adventure in detail. The older Elf was quiet, running fingers over his mustache. If only hearing the story was upsetting he couldn’t imagine what his son and the Drider must be feeling. 

“Do you think he would let me see the egg?”

“Probably not. What do you want with it?”

“Just to make sure it’s healthy.”

“I will ask.”

Robbie tolerated Ithrotaalfurin. He did not necessarily _like_ the older Elf, but he didn’t fully dislike him either. Having been helped several times already by his mate’s father had balanced out his view of Elves a little and he could stand him for a little while. He did let the hero hold the egg, but only for three seconds. He snatched it back as soon at the egg was confirmed to be alive and hid it away in the back of the meat cubby.

After a thought of a deer waking up and kicking it he removed the egg again and set it on the blanket nest, moving to an empty corner to start digging a small pit. Sportacus watched him, having no clue how to handle a Drider egg. Robbie must not have known either, because he seemed to be doing a lot of guesswork and he didn’t seem to be sure of anything he was doing.

Eventually a pillow ended up in the new pit, where the silk covered egg was wrapped in the ugly patch quilt Ithrotaalfurin had given them, and then covered in yet another layer of silk. It seemed a bit much, but Sportacus said nothing as he could tell his mate’s nerves were shot.

Once Ithrotaalfurin had gone back to his balloon to leave and the egg was as safe as it was going to get, Robbie collapsed into the blanket nest and cried. This was more than just the loss of his sister. It was mourning, of course, along with fatigue from the journey and the fact he was essentially becoming a parent if he kept the egg long enough to hatch. Male Driders were _never_ parents.

Sportacus did his best to hold him despite being much smaller. “You’ll be alright.”

“I can’t do this…” Robbie sighed.

“I’m here. You won’t do it alone.”

From then onward it wasn’t uncommon for Robbie to come home from the forest to find his Elf reading to the egg. Sometimes the egg was even wearing his hat. Robbie said it looked stupid, but secretly thought that it was the cutest thing he had ever seen in his life.

After a week Robbie realized so much padding had been overkill. There was no way an infant was going to be able to chew its way through so many layers of silk and fabric. He removed the outer layer and loosened the quilt. He also surrounded the egg with small prey he’d caught. The baby would have to eat _something_.


	3. Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's lucky the adults in Lazytown are kind of oblivious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robbie continues to Stress(tm) and Milford Meanswell is a fucking gem, I love him.  
> Sportacus has a camera because Pixel gave him that for his birthday I guess?? Idk, dads need cameras. Coincidentally it is my sister's birthday today.

Somehow all of the children caught wind of the fact there was going to be a new baby soon. “Somehow” in this case meant that Sportacus was too excited to keep this fact to himself and told all of them. This resulted in all of the kids trying to throw a baby shower for Robbie and their hero. This earned the Elf a phone call from the Mayor asking him why Stephanie had used half of her allowance to buy a pack of diapers. Sportacus happily told him that he and his partner would have a baby.

“Oh, I wasn’t aware anyone in town was pregnant. Does your surrogate live here?” Milford asked.

“No, no one is pregnant. That’s not how eggs work.” Sportacus explained with a chuckle.

“Oh. Yes of course, how silly of me! Well I just wanted to know what was up.”

The two hung up on eachother, Milford becoming confused about how an egg was involved only after the conversation was done. The adults of Lazytown knew of Robbie, but only vaguely. They all assumed he was Human, just as they did with the Elf, and assumed their hero was just dating an incurably reclusive man. Technically they were not incorrect. 

Bessie had actually been skeptical about Robbie’s existence until he had shown her the picture he kept in his bracer. It was taken from waist up so Sportacus saw no reason not to share it.

“Why are his eyes like that?”

“That’s how he was born.”

The conversation ended there.

The baby shower didn't actually have a chance to happen. Sportacus gently discouraged it since Robbie was overwhelmed enough just with fussing over the egg every ten minutes. Instead, the kids just sent gifts and in Stingy’s case a card.

The diapers wouldn't fit, so those were set aside. The pacifier, blankets, bottles, and teething rings were all deemed useful and left on the shelf. Neither of the men really knew exactly what the baby would need. Male Driders weren’t expected to know and therefore Robbie was never taught and Sportacus only knew about Elf and Human children. None of Sportacus’s kids were babies when he knew them, either. They could figure it out of course, but it would have been easier if they knew what to do from the beginning.

“The egg is fine. Come cuddle?” Sportacus called after watching his mate reorganize the smaller nest for the sixteenth time that day.

Robbie grunted. Sportacus pulled him away.

“You’ve been awake for almost an entire week. I’m sure the egg will be happier if you get some rest.”

“Can’t sleep.” Robbie gruffed, but he did settle beside Sportacus. “If I sleep it’s going to hatch and I’ll miss it.”

“I can watch it and wake you if it starts.”

“If I sleep and you watch it you’ll just have to leave to save one of your brats and it’s going to hatch and we’ll both miss it.” Robbie amended firmly, a strong believer of Murphy’s Law. 

Sportacus huffed through his nose. “Well you still need to relax. For a little while, at least?” He pleaded, moving to rub his mate’s back to try to relieve at least a little of the tension there.

Robbie sighed, giving in only on the condition that Sportacus stay with him and continue working out what he believed to be permanent stress knots. 

The egg did not hatch while Robbie was asleep as the Drider had feared. Instead, it was only about an hour after sundown. Robbie was on his back, his Elf dozing on his stomach and not yet asleep, when a quiet tapping noise could be heard. It had actually begun the tapping earlier, but both had been distracted. It took them both a second to realize what they were hearing.

Sportacus flopped off of his mate, scrambling to put on pants and help roll Robbie over. Robbie wasted no time crossing the den, removing the quilt from the egg. The crack had begun to ooze, clear fluid seeping through the thin layer of web. The tapping grew louder and the egg fell to its side just as Sportacus took a seat next to Robbie.

The crack soon spread, a lightning pattern forming over the shell. Sportacus leaned forward, hand outstretched to help. Robbie swatted his hand away.

“Don’t. Let them do it.”

Sportacus put his hand down. Robbie took hold of it. A leg finally burst through, ripping the webbing. It wriggled a moment, then fell still before another joined it. It took nearly an hour before the baby had managed to escape, covered in thick mucus and blood that made it hard to see what color the fur or hair was. It coughed and shuddered, but did not cry. 

The lack of crying actually sent a stab of panic into Sportacus’s heart. Babies had to cry to learn to breathe as far as what he had heard, but if the baby could cough then they could breathe. The crystal detected nothing wrong, at least. Both men were nervous to pick up the infant, who paid no attention to them and simply rooted toward the closest warmth. It already had teeth, which it sunk into the sleeping rabbit it had found. 

Robbie finally reached over to pick up the baby, rabbit and all. He counted every leg, finger, and claw, then continued to check over anything else he could think of. 

“She’s perfect.” He whispered, holding the baby to his chest.

Sportacus grinned, rocking where he sat as he was too happy to even try to sit still. 

“Did you think of a name for her?” The Elf asked.

“What’s that book you kept reading to her?”

“Cinderella?”

Robbie nodded. “Ella.” He held the baby up, her little legs wheeling about in the air with absolutely no coordination. “She could be an Ella.” He passed her to Sportacus.

The Elf carefully took her and began cleaning her off with one of the little blankies. What little hair she had was black, and her fur seemed to be a solid lilac with a darker plum on her underside. She was only about the size of a basketball. She removed her mouth from the rabbit she was trying to eat and sneezed, blood spraying over Sportacus. He didn’t even mind. Both men were instantly in love with her.

Sportacus handed her back to Robbie and left to get a bucket from his airship which he used to bring back water to properly clean Ella and himself. By the time he got back to the den Robbie was asleep, their daughter still suckling from the rabbit in her sleep while in the bigger Drider’s arms. Sportacus smiled, took the camera from the bookshelf, snapped a picture, and then joined them. Washing could wait for morning.


	4. Quiet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The adults of Lazytown continue to Just Go With It and Stephanie visits.

Sportacus took his camera to Pixel the next day to get the picture he’d taken printed out. He wound up with a regular sized photograph, as well as a smaller copy. He tucked the smaller one into his chestpiece, just behind his crystal and over his heart. He then showed the picture to Stephanie first, before all of the other children.

Predictably, the kids wanted to see little Ella in person. Sportacus explained that Robbie was still getting used to having a baby and was extremely protective so visits would have to wait a while. All except for Stingy accepted this without fuss, but the possessive child was quickly distracted when Jives poked the piggy bank to get him to drop the issue.

Sportacus got into the habit of asking the butcher shop for blood whenever he went out for groceries, along with raw ground beef. He figured it would be easier for Ella to ingest since it was a softer alternative to wild game and he could put the blood into a baby bottle. Robbie assured him that the baby’s teeth were strong enough to handle what he caught, but gave in to how Sportacus was handling his end of parenting. 

The request got an odd look from the butchers, Jives’ parents, but they took it in stride just as everything else that happened in town. Soon there was a rumor floating around that Sportacus’s boyfriend had to be a vampire. When he heard this he shook his head and laughed.

“Oh, no. Robbie is immune to Vampirism.” He told them.

They looked at him funny. Jives laughed. 

“Because Spiderdude has different blood, right dawg?” The boy asked.

Sportacus nodded. “Exactly! You are very smart.”

Jives’ parents continued to look at him funny. The Elf took his purchase and left the building. Luckily all the adults in Lazytown knew by now that Sportacus was Weird but not dangerous and the fact he was a good influence on their kids as well as practically being a free babysitter meant he had the right to have his Weirdness overlooked.

Sportacus remained the town hero, but Stephanie had also stepped into the role part-time. Sportacus worried at first, but the girl declared him to be on paternal leave and he was grateful and trusted her. He had every faith in her that she would become Number Eleven when she grew up. 

Due to Sportacus’s trust in Stephanie and Robbie’s trust in his mate, Stephanie was the first to meet Ella.

“She bites, so be careful.” The Elf warned as Robbie allowed the pink girl to hold the baby.

Ella still had very little motor control and flailed out with her legs. Stephanie giggled and tickled her. The baby almost immediately snapped at the invading hand, but Stephanie was quick to escape the little fangs. Offended at being denied her ‘prey’ Ella began blowing defiant spit bubbles much to everyone’s amusement.

Robbie took her back when she started getting fussy. She still didn’t cry, but her voiceless wheezing meant the same thing.

“How come she’s not making any noise?” Stephanie asked.

“She can’t.” Sportacus answered simply.

“It’s common in Driders.” Robbie elaborated. “There’s usually at least one mute in a clutch, I think. Charlotte didn’t have a voice. Neither did Flobby.” 

Sportacus lifted his eyebrows, having been previously unaware of that fact. 

“How do they talk, then?” Stephanie asked, curious.

Robbie shrugged, one-handedly preparing a bottle of blood mixed with powdered baby formula. They had found out the hard way after Ella got sick the first time that she needed milk as well and not just meat.

“My People are usually solitary and have very clear body language. Words aren’t as important to us as they are to the other Peoples.”

Stephanie left the den shortly after that. Ella had fallen into hiccups, a sign she wasn’t far from falling asleep. Stephanie went to the bookstore right after, using the last of her allowance to buy a book on sign language. Maybe she could teach the other kids, and then Ella when the baby was a little older.


	5. Milestones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lions pretend to be hurt when their cubs bite them. 
> 
> Ithro goes a step ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter today, sorry. I need to get some work done.

Ella laughed for the first time at four months. Sportacus thought it was an asthma attack at first and nearly panicked until Robbie pointed out that she was smiling. The laughter had been triggered by Sportacus’s reaction to her first hunt where she had caught a mouse that had gotten into the den and was unwise enough to get within her grasping range. 

“Relax,” Robbie tutted. “She’s learning to hunt. If she can catch it, she can eat it.”

Sportacus had no counter argument for that. He was proud of the baby despite his concern. She could sit up now and had better control of her limbs. She didn’t have the strength to stand on her own but she could hold herself up with one of her fathers’ help to balance. She had also learned to recognise her own name, which meant ‘Cinderella’ easily became her favorite story.

By six months Ella could stand all by herself and took her first steps. She had more legs than she knew what to do with, but she took a few strong strides before flopping over. Sportacus openly cried. Robbie also cried but adamantly denied it.

Ithrotaalfurin came to visit after six months, eager to see his adoptive granddaughter after so many letters and photographs from his son. Ella was confused at first, since her Pabbi and Grandpabbi looked very similar aside from slightly different facial hair. She quickly decided Ithrotaalfurin’s goatee was incorrect and tried to pull it off. The attempt was ineffective but she was delighted when the older Elf overdramatically pretended to die, slapping him to get him to ‘wake up’.

Robbie’s opinion on his mate’s father swayed from tolerance to acceptance after seeing how much Ella apparently liked him. He would deny feeling anything other than annoyance toward the older Elf but by then Sportacus could read him easier than a book.

By the time Ella was eight months old she could walk and had even learned to cling. This meant Robbie could start leaving the den again, his daughter happily stuck to the fur of his abdomen. She also enjoyed riding around on Sportacus’s head. She would also sleep on the Elf’s head if he laid down long enough.

Ella was turning out to be a very happy baby, well cared for and well loved. A happy baby, of course, made for a very happy family.

Robbie’s protectiveness had leveled out a bit, and he eventually allowed the rest of the children to meet her after a few months.This meeting took the form of a picnic behind the billboard. The children were still too nervous to go back into the woods, even with the wards. 

Ella was shy at first, staying glued to her father’s fur and trying to blend in with one of his lighter stripes. Everyone fawned over her, but respected her clear wish for space. Eventually she migrated to hanging upside down from Robbie’s leg for a while, then finally to the picnic blanket. She already liked Stephanie, and wound up on the older girl’s lap.

The kids had brought a soccer ball with them, always prepared to play. Jives gently rolled it toward Pixel. Pixel rolled it to Trixie. Ella easily became transfixed on the movement and watched from Stephanie’s lap, little legs twitching. Trixie rolled the ball to Ziggy. The ball passed very near to Stephanie. Ella pounced.

The mix of momentum and gravity meant Ella ended up rolled under the ball. She looked confused for a moment, letting go of the ball and trying to crawl on top of ot again, and again she ended up under the ball. Robbie snorted and Sportacus snickered behind his hand and Ella tried yet again, her expression going from confusion to offense, then open annoyance. 

The toddler huffed, laying on her back and spinning the ball between her many legs for a moment before kicking it away. It was unclear whether she did this out of spite or if it was an accident. She didn't try to retrieve it in any case, though that may have been because she was stuck on her back now. Robbie reached over with a leg to help her up before she had a chance to get angry about it.

The ball rolled to Ziggy, where it had been headed before the Driderling interrupted its course. Ziggy passed it to Sportacus and from there it went to Robbie, and then Stingy where its path ended as the boy refused to share. The picnic ended shortly after as Ella became tired and cranky.


	6. Resignation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sport has to go to a meeting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to get healthcare is a bitch when you're a mess of social anxiety and have to call because the website refuses to verify your identity. My nerves are fried. Goodnight.

Sportacus woke up one night to his crystal flashing green. It wasn’t beeping. Nobody was in trouble. This was a summons. 

The Elf groaned, knowing he had to get to his airship quickly to make a trip. He really didn’t want to go. It was probably just going to be a silly meeting where his Superiors would be passively condescending while announcing some new guideline and then demanding a report of some kind. Hero meetings were the worst, but at least they didn’t happen often.

Sportacus gently woke Robbie to tell his mate what was going on. Robbie responded by trying to pull him back into the nest and keep him there, but eventually agreed to let the Elf go. Sportacus dressed quickly, packed a bag, then kissed his mate and sleeping daughter goodbye. 

He left a letter to Stephanie to leave her in charge and another letter for Jives to bring blood and baby formula to the den if he was still gone by Tuesday. After boarding his airship and checking the systems, he set off for the North, pedaling quickly. Hopefully the faster he arrived, the faster he would be able to come home. He didn’t want to be away for longer than absolutely necessary.

Ella was inconsolable when she realized her Pabbi wasn’t coming home the next night. She was used to him being gone during the daytime, but when the sun went down the Elf was supposed to be _home_ with her and Papa. Robbie couldn’t calm her. He couldn’t make her understand. Eventually she cried for an hour before passing out.

The next day wasn’t much better. It helped to read to Ella, but Robbie had trouble with it. He could only read the simple books and eventually gave up, reciting from memory or making up his own version based on the pictures. She would listen halfway through before deciding he was doing it wrong and continuing to fuss.

Stephanie came by the den once to check on them. She brought a music box with her to give to the toddler. It turned out to be a good distraction for Ella. She liked watching the little ballerina dance. She still sorely missed the Elf, but the music box would calm her enough to sleep for a while which was a great relief to Robbie.

Sportacus only took a day and a half to reach his homeland. He landed the airship, deciding if it needed any work done it was best to get it done here before leaving. Tired, but determined to get this over with he made his way quickly to the capitol of the Isle where meetings were held.

When Sportacus stepped into the meeting room he noticed that four of the Numbered Heroes were present, Five through Eight. The first four were retired and he guessed his father was busy. Nobody in the room looked happy. Five looked almost angry.

“Have a seat, Ten.” Five said, sounding more like a command than a request.

Sportacus quickly seated himself beside Six. Out of all of the others (Excluding Ithrotaalfurin, of course.) she seemed to like him best.

“Am I in trouble?” He wondered aloud.

Seven snorted, which earned a glare from Five. Seven quickly did his best to look ashamed. Eight rolled her eyes.

“We’ve been made aware of your relationship.” Five began. “It’s unbecoming of the Numbered to be involved with a beast in such a way.”

Sportacus furrowed his brow, confused for a moment before he realized Five had to be referring to Robbie.

“My mate is not a beast.” Sportacus corrected.

“He is a Drider, is he not?”

“He is.” Sportacus confirmed. “Driders are People.”

Five shook his head. “People have language and don’t kill their own.”

“Driders do have language.” Sportacus corrected, but couldn’t deny the latter.

Five scoffed. “The only ones I’ve seen just growl, hiss, or make no noise at all. That’s no more language than a dog.”

Sportacus took a deep breath. He knew getting angry would solve nothing. He knew of how his People were treating Driders but he hadn’t expected it from his fellow heroes. It suddenly made sense that his father hadn’t arrived and nobody waited for him. Nine probably hadn’t even been summoned. Five wouldn’t want anyone defending Sportacus.

Since Sportacus didn’t respond, Five continued. “I must ask the relationship to end. You may as well be laying with an animal. It is disgraceful and reflects badly on the lot of us.”

Sportacus grit his teeth. “Driders are People and my mate has nothing to do with any of you. My family is my business.”

“Driders are only useful for silk, and you will leave yours.”

“I will not.”

Five frowned. “Then you will leave us.”

Sportacus sighed and removed his vest and bracers. He took the photographs and crystal out of the chestpiece and put those in his pocket, then dropped the rest heavily on the table.

“Leave the airship with us.”

Sportacus stiffened, trying to keep his hands from shaking. It was more than just losing his title and ship. This was an exile.

“How do you expect me to leave _without_ the ship?”

“I’m sure your father will lend his balloon when he gets here. For now, just stay out of my sight.” Five stood from his chair. “That will be all. The rest of us have real work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Lazytown blog now has a tag for anything concerning this universe.  
> Link: https://robbie-and-the-rottens.tumblr.com/tagged/cephalothorax


	7. Gordian Knot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All is not fair with the Fair Folk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha. I made myself angry.

Sportacus wandered the streets of the Northern Isle, deciding he may as well memorize it before he left it for good. Many things had changed, though he did recognize some things. Buildings identical to memory but re-purposed to be something new, like an abstract painting of an old photograph. He had forgotten just how cold it was. Lazytown winters were never so biting. A simple scarf wouldn’t cut it. He needed something with sleeves.

He stepped into the nearest clothing shop, picking up the first blue jacket he saw that looked like it would fit. He froze as soon as he touched it, rubbing the fabric between his fingers. He recognized the texture of it. The fading anger flared back to life as he took it to the tailor.

 _“Where do you get your fabric?”_ Sportacus demanded, switching to Elvish as most of those that stayed in the Isle never bothered to learn more.

The tailor looked at him, confused at his tone. _”Fabric’s been coming from a silk farm. Something wrong with the coat?”_

Sportacus didn’t answer, dropping the jacket and rushing out. The cold was nearly scalding, but he was very near rage. Strike that, he had surpassed rage into raw fury. He needed to run, and so he did.

 _Farm,_ the tailor told him. Five had commented that Driders were useful only for silk. They weren’t just being killed for their venom. A People was being used as _livestock_. Sportacus wanted to vomit.

When had that started? Why were the other Numbered _allowing_ it? It hadn’t been mentioned in the book his father had given him before so it must have been a new development. It certainly wasn’t something that happened when he had lived with his People decades ago.

He turned the corner, nearly crashing into a Nymph. He apologized. They shoved him. He continued to run. He did slow to a jog to inspect all of the Peoples he passed. This city had never been exclusively for Elves. There were Trolls, Drow, Faerie, Satyrs, Nymphs, and even a few Humans that had been brought by the others at a young age. Why would Driders be any different? Was it the legs? A centaur chose then to trot across his path as if to taunt him.

Eventually the Elf wound up back at his airship. He took his bag, packing up the few personal belongings he had. He bought a few new books for Ella, then spent the night in an inn. He didn’t really mind being exiled, he decided. All he wanted to do was go home anyway.

In the morning he was found still in the room of the inn by his father, who looked incredibly tired. He wasn’t sleepy, but world-weary. It was rare Ithrotaalfurin ever truly looked his age, but it could be seen clearly in his eyes.

“I told Five that he was out of line. I tried to get him to let you rejoin but… he outranks me.” Ithrotaalfurin took a seat next to his son. “I persuaded him to allow you to visit here when you want, but only as a visitor. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Pabbi. It doesn’t really matter…” Sportacus sighed. “Did you know there are silk farms?”

“No, but you look upset so I will assume it is as bad as it sounds?”

“Probably. I haven’t seen one but I know Drider silk and Five likened them to animals so I can’t imagine it’s a good thing.”

"Five can hardly see past his own nose. He calls me an animal too. He says I look like a goat." Ithrotaalfurin huffed, patting his son on the back and jumping up to stand. “Well then, before we leave we should go see one of these farms. Maybe they aren’t as bad as they sound, and if they are we will be able to make a plan and do something.”

“Do _what?_ Nobody is going to listen to me without a Number.”

Ithrotaalfurin huffed and swatted his son with a pillow. “I listen to you. The world is only as bad as you let it become and _never_ as bad as it seems. What is wrong can be corrected as long as someone sees the problem.”

The younger Elf sighed, seeing his father’s point. He really just wanted to go home, but there was a problem to start fixing. He needed to see exactly what he was up against to know how to fight it. With any luck it would make a safer world for his family.


	8. Funny Farm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ithro and Sport go to see the problem in person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoutout to Howl for calling me out on this chapter before I even posted it. I work at least 2 chapters ahead btw. 
> 
> Also I opened asks on my blog. I didn't know they were closed, whoopsie!
> 
> Bonus: This was written listening to 'Where There's a Whip There's a Way' from the animated Return of the King. There's no whips(in sight) or war here but the tone fits.

There was a silk farm just outside of the city. It was crowded to say the least, with three separate working rooms. The first looked almost like a stable where each Drider was in a solitary booth, spinning silk onto a wheel until their silk glands ran out. From there they would eat in another room, then move to the next to sit at a loom to make the thread into sheets of fabric while they digested. There was clear shift rotation.

The first thing Sportacus noticed was that all of the Driders looked sickly, too skinny, some missing fingers or even a leg. The second, was that they were all men. He listened as the man in charge of the tour explained that the Driders here had plenty to eat and were happy to work in exchange for being protected from poaching. He also mentioned that they had their venom glands safely removed through surgery. Sportacus asked how they could hunt.

“Oh, don’t be silly!” The man waved his hand dismissively. “Why would they ever need to hunt? We feed them. They get fresh meat loaded with protein supplements. Wild Driders are missing out!”

Sportacus wanted to hit him. He didn’t. Ithrotaalfurin mimed doing it when the man turned his back. It cheered Sportacus up, but only by a fraction.

“Why are there no women?” 

“Oh we keep the girls under high security. The boys are much more docile but the females like to fight. We’ve got three brood females if you want to see the litters. I’ve heard some Faerie considering keeping the quiet ones as pets. We’ve started breeding for silence.”

Sportacus thought of Ella and had to clench his fists in his pockets.

“No thank you.” Ithro answered. “Is there a resting area? May we see that?”

“Of course we let them rest! What kind of monsters do you take us for? They need time to make more silk between running out and spinning, after all. There’s a pen downstairs.”

He led them down a flight of stairs into a dimly lit chamber. There were a fair thirty or forty Driders down there. Some were sleeping, others just milling about idly. A few were engaged in some sort of game involving the straw that covered the floor. There was a low fence separating them from the area the Elves stood in.

Sportacus was not prepared to see familiar purple stripes. The tour guide was speaking, but he wasn’t paying attention. He hopped the fence to get to the Drider he had noticed, the others hissing and scrambling to get away from him.

“Sir, that’s not safe!”

The striped Drider was not Robbie. Sportacus rationally knew this, but he had a lapse in reason due to panic. Regardless, they looked similar enough. An entire life flashed through his mind of a life where Robbie was here instead of his den where he belonged. They wouldn’t have met. They wouldn’t have found Ella’s egg and she would have hatched and died all alone. Everything would have been wrong and Sportacus would never have even known the joy of his family.

This Drider was smaller, a bit more stout. Still, the similarity was eerie. Robbie had three brothers, Sportacus remembered, and fumbled to show the new Drider the pictures of Robbie that he had. It may have been wrong to assume Driders with the same markings would be related but the entire farm situation was worse.

The Drider shied away at first, cowering before he realized the invading Elf wasn’t trying to hurt him. He carefully took the pictures, looking over them. Sportacus counted a victory when recognition shone on the other’s face.

The small Drider stood, lifting two of his legs into the air and waving them. Two other striped men left the crowd to approach, hesitant. All three brothers were here. The tallest took the pictures, clicking deep in his throat before passing them on. The third examined them too, then turned the one of Robbie and Ella around to draw the Elf’s attention. He tapped his claw against Ella and chirped.

“I don’t understand.” Sportacus admitted. 

The Drider rolled his eyes, tapped the picture more urgently and chirped again. He then gestured to Sportacus.

It was a question, he realized. Probably something along the lines of ‘Why do you have this?’ 

Sportacus thought of how to answer before repeating the only part of Drider language Robbie taught him, hoping the trio would understand. They looked alarmed at first, and then all three were pulling at him and sniffing him. It was mildly uncomfortable, but Ella did the same thing whenever he came home more than five minutes late.

 _“Wobbie safe?”_ One of them asked in broken Elvish.

_“Yes. Robbie is safe.”_

_“Baby?”_ Asked the other.

_“Charlotte’s. Charlotte is dead, we kept the baby.”_

The tallest let out a keening whine. _”Dead. Wrong. Bad. Happy Robbie? Happy baby? Name baby?”_

_“The baby’s name is Ella. She and Robbie are happy.”_

The small brother snorted, and Sportacus realized the silent one must be Flobby. Flobby made an exaggerated pouting face. The other two laughed.

_“Robbie no happy. Whiner.”_

Sportacus laughed. _“Well, that’s true. Your names?”_

“Bobby.”

“Tobby.”

Bobby tapped Flobby and introduced him too. All three grinned, gaps where their fangs should be. The Elf’s heart dropped from the sight.

Shortly after the introductions, security arrived and Sportacus and Ithrotaalfurin were both asked to leave.


	9. A Plan or Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glanni does what Glanni wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dangerous levels of sass ahead. I don't even know what Glanni's plans are. Im the author so I should know but I have no control over this strange man.

Sportacus was surprised to see a Fae in his father’s balloon when they got there. He had black hair and red wings, pink fluff where they attached to his back. His wings were being held together by a clothespin upon closer inspection. He looked annoyed, or possibly smug. He had one of those faces that made it difficult to tell.

“Finally! I was wondering when you were coming back, you tyrant. You can let me go now. I’ve learned my lesson. I’m ready to rejoin society.”

Ithrotaalfurin rolled his eyes. “What lesson would that be?”

“Not to get caught, obviously.” The Fae giggled, then looked to Sportacus. “This is your son? Meow.”

Sportacus took a step away.

“Highly off-limits Glanni. I thought you said you were dating the president anyway.” Nine intervened.

“It’s an open arrangement, honey. He lets me do as I like.” Glanni leaned back on his hands where he sat, crossing one leg over the other. “Can I have my wings back or do you expect me to beg?”

“Don’t be crude.”

“Don’t be a prude.”

Sportacus decided to tune out of the conversation, settling on the far side of the basket. He had no desire to watch the Fae flirt badly at his father and himself. He decided to write down everything he had learned about the Drider situation, mainly for something to do.

He wondered about the farm and if the Driders there would be able to survive once free. Hunting required fangs and venom, or maybe just fangs if they killed and ate immediately. Robbie’s brothers had clearly had their fangs removed. The farm Driders had been living off of preserved and altered meats, some of them possibly for their entire lives so far. Maybe a free community could be built for those that couldn’t survive without the help? They would have to legally become People for that which could take years.

It had to start somewhere. Maybe Sportacus could talk to the Queen? He needed a rank for even a chance at that and the Numbered still held most of the authority among Elves. Monarchy had actually been abolished and the only reason there was still a Queen is because she hadn’t died. Maybe she could still influence things? 

“It’s worth a shot.” Glanni chipped in, and Sportacus realized he had been thinking aloud. “You’ll need a sweet talker to get close to Her Royal Whoreness. If you let me go I can get that done for you. She likes me.”

“You are a con and nobody likes you.” Ithrotaalfurin barked, adjusting the course of the balloon.

“You like me.” 

“I put up with you.”

Glanni pouted, folding his arms in front of him and uncrossing his legs just to cross them the other way. “And yet you’ve kept me in your Tacky Flying Condom since yesterday.”

“It’s a balloon.” Ithrotaalfurin groaned.

Sportacus now realized why the tone of his father’s letters always seemed annoyed whenever he mentioned that Glanni was ‘being himself.’ This was a very brash Fae. Most Faerie of course only respected other Faerie, but this one was several steps past any others he had met. The others were dignified. This one was… 

‘Brat’ was the first word to come to Sportacus’s mind. ‘Diva’ was the second. He kept this to himself. Still, Faerie were smart and tricky. Having one to help with the situation would be beneficial.

“What do you want in exchange for helping us help the Driders?” Sportacus asked.

“I want my wings free.”

“That’s all?” Sportacus asked, confused.

“That can’t be all. What else?” Ithrotaalfurin huffed.

“From you, that’s all. I’ve got my own little plans and helping you will will get those done a lot faster, _but_ I need my wings back.”

“What plans are those?” Ithrotaalfurin asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“That would be telling, honey. No tricks for you this time, I promise.”

Sportacus glanced at his father, who shrugged. The younger Elf stood, crossing the balloon and removing the pin. Glanni grinned, flapping his wings to get feeling back into them, then tipped himself over the side.

“I’ll see you in a month!” The Fae called, turning to fly back in the direction of the Isle.


	10. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sport is home hooray.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stress has slowed down my writing but I'm still going.

The second the balloon touched down next to the den Sportacus had a very excited baby Drider clinging to the side of his head, clinging to his hair and shirt. She was snuffling through his hair, demanding to know where he had been for so long. He laughed, nearly all of his stress falling away as he shifted her to his arms.

“Hello Ella! Where’s Papa?” He asked.

She happily pointed to Robbie, who was only halfway out of the den, looking very tired but smiling regardless. He came the rest of the way out to pull his mate and child into a long hug.

“Where’s Pabbi?” Robbie asked.

Ella smooshed her hands all over Sportacus’s face. There was still a bit of blood on them. She had clearly just been eating. She turned herself around, almost winding upside down between them.

“What about Grandpabbi?” Ithrotaalfurin called from where he was tethering the balloon.

Ella wriggled, crawling around to Sportacus’s back and huffing, her version of laughter. She stretched her arms out in a request to be held by the older Elf. He happily took her once the balloon was secure.

“Haha! There’s my pretty girl!” The Elf said gleefully. “I’m taking her for a run. You two have fun catching up! I’ll be back in about two hours.”

With that Ithrotaalfurin sped off with a wink, Driderling having secured herself to his chest.

“Be careful!” Sportacus called after them, though he had no doubt his child was safe with his father.

“He isn’t subtle.” Robbie snorted, and dragged his mate into the den with a chuckle.

The pair ended up just cuddling. Robbie could tell Sportacus was upset. Neither of them could get into more. Sportacus sighed and relayed the events of the trip. The Drider listen, his expression morphing from exhaustion to a sort of cold angry acceptance. 

“I met your brothers. They were in the farm…”

“At least they’re alive.” Robbie sighed, carding his fingers through his Elf’s hair. “I’m sure they got a kick out of you.”

“Why would I kick them?”

Robbie snorted and shook his head. “It’s an expression. Why do I have a better grasp on English than you do?”

“Probably because I learned from a book and you learned by listening?”

“Yes. That would do it.” Robbie agreed. “Are you alright?”

“I’m… No. I’m angry and I’m sad and I want to fix things but I’m not sure where to start.”

“We’ll figure that out after you calm down. Take a nap. Eat some cake.”

“I can’t eat cake.”

“Then bring _me_ cake. Nap first though. Ella’s kept me awake crying over you.”

Sportacus giggled, kissing his mate and curling into his legs. After the few days he had he didn’t mind having a nap before bedtime. Robbie kissed him back, first his lips and then his forehead, then the rest of his face. The Drider sighed deeply, letting out a gently clicking growl that reverberated throughout both of their bodies.

“I missed you.”


	11. Heirarchy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversation happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shoooooort...
> 
> Boys, shut up. Your kid is tryin' to sleeeeep.

The next day was calmer, though Sportacus’s thoughts weighed heavily on his shoulders. He supposed he should wait to figure out whatever it was that Glanni had planned and then go from there, but he hated feeling like he was doing nothing. He really didn’t want to rely on the Fae anyway. Not after hearing about him from his father and actually meeting him in person. Glanni just seemed… Untrustworthy.

“You’re eating grass.” Robbie pointed out suddenly, drawing Sportacus’s attention. “I know you’re a herbivore but that seems excessive.”

He realized he had zoned out and did indeed have grass in his mouth. His mustache drooped and he brushed his hands off, swallowing the grass since it was already headed in that direction anyway. He had originally sat down to eat breakfast, planning to get up right after. Ella had plopped right into his lap and gone to sleep. Unwilling to get up and disturb her, he had simply rocked and picked at the earth around him.

Robbie scooted closer to his Elf, curling behind him and laying alongside his right leg. Sportacus leaned back against his abdomen and settled a hand on his mate’s back, kneading the space between his shoulder blades. 

“How would a Drider live if they couldn’t hunt?”

“They’d get a silly Elf so infatuated that he brings food to them.” Robbie snorted, then answered seriously. “I don’t know. Scavenging, maybe, but that’s a good way to get sick.”

Sportacus frowned. “What would you do?”

“Five is in charge right? Kill him and put someone nicer in charge.”

“That’s not-”

“Feed him to the fangless.”

Sportacus shook his head. Assassination wasn’t going to fix the problem. It would just make more. Five needed to change his mind, not die. 

“I think if there was a woman among the Driders in the farm she could get the others to riot and then they could just free themselves.”

“They keep the men and women separated.” Sportacus clarified.

“Smart Elves.” Robbie gruffed. “There are women there though?”

“Yes… Breeding was mentioned.” Sportacus admitted, his face scrunching as he tried not to think of the awful implications there.

“I’d find the biggest mother and let her loose with the males. If she’s mad enough she’ll probably have her own army in under half an hour. They’ll free themselves. After that is the problem. They’ll just starve to death or get caught again.” Robbie mused aloud, tapping his fingers idly on his mate’s leg. “They will have to adapt somehow and the Elves need to leave them alone… Or help them, but that’s never going to happen.”

“I want to help.” The Elf pointed out, shifting his hand from his mate's back to his dark hair.

“You’re an outlier and don’t count.”

“Nine wants to help.” Sportacus countered.

“Nine is a lunatic and he spawned _you._ ”

The two fell silent as Ella stirred, pushing herself up to tiredly look around. She looked to Sportacus, then to Robbie. She yawned, stretched out, then adjusted her legs and pedipalps to coil around the Elf’s free arm and snuggled her face into the bend of his elbow. Robbie reached over to pet her hair, one of his rare genuine smiles shining through.

“While you were gone, the Pink Girl started trying to teach Ella how to talk with her hands.” The Drider reported, blatantly changing the subject.

“Oh?” Sportacus smiled. “Has Ella said anything, then?”

“She said you’re a dork.”

Sportacus laughed, which woke Ella again. She decided if she was awake, she may as well eat and started wheezing to be fed. Robbie took her from the Elf’s lap and took her into the den. Sportacus watched them go and stretched, jogging to join in whatever the kids were up to this time. Hero or not, he could still be a good role model.


	12. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adult parties are hard to sit through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This looks like filler but I swear it's not.

The kids noticed Sportacus wasn’t acting quite right when he got back from his trip. He was still playful and helpful but he just seemed… _off._ Ziggy wondered if perhaps he was sick. They made sure to be extra careful. At one point they even swarmed him with all the sportscandy he could eat and then tried to get him to take a nap, but that didn’t help anything. He insisted that he was fine.

For their attempt to cheer him up, Milford and Bessie ended up inviting him to a party for ‘just the grown-ups’. They invited Robbie as well, but weren’t surprised that he declined. Sportacus would have also declined, but Bessie was far too good at persuasion. 

The children’s parents were all at the party. Everyone was drinking and watching some sport on the television that the Elf couldn’t focus on. Why watch a sport when you could _play?_

It didn’t help that Stingy’s mother kept trying to flirt at him. Good for her that she was trying to date again, but Sportacus had no interest. He remained polite, though intimidated, and decided to just go home after half an hour.

Bessie stopped him at the door. “You’re leaving already, dear?”

“There’s nothing for me to do.” The Elf shrugged. 

“Well you don’t have to do anything!” Bessie giggled. “I thought watching the kids all day and having your own little one at home, you’d need a break?”

“Thank you, Bessie. I’m just not in the best spirits.”

“I’ll walk you home then?” She offered, which Sportacus would have declined before she added in a softer voice. “Sometimes it helps just to take a walk and talk it out. My phone isn’t even on half of the time, I just like to vent without looking crazy.”

Sportacus smiled at the odd confession. It made sense with how busy the woman was that she would need some outlet. It wasn’t what he expected but it seemed like a good idea.

“If you want to walk me home you can, but it’s a bit out-of-the-way.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I could use the fresh air. Let me just grab my bag.”

They walked all the way to the billboard before Bessie felt the need to question where they were going. 

“Do you live in the woods now?”

“Not quite.” Sportacus shrugged. “We should part here.”

“Why?” Bessie looked concerned, adjusting her purse over her arm. 

He didn’t get a chance to answer as a tiny purple rocket barreled into his legs, climbing up with an excited huff. Sportacus grinned and scooped the girl into his arms.

Bessie screamed. Ella began to cry as the noise startled her. Robbie came running when he heard the scream as well, prepared to protect. Sportacus just held his daughter tighter. 

“Bessie, it’s okay!”

The woman fainted.

Robbie grimaced. “Who is she?”

“That’s Miss Busybody. She wanted to walk me home.”

“You let her?”

“She was being nice!”

Robbie sighed deeply, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Whyyyy would you let her this close?!”

Sportacus couldn’t answer that. Regardless, he couldn’t let her stay unconscious outside. He nudged Ella to get her to move to his back and picked the woman up, stepping toward the den.

Robbie followed them in, blocking their nest off with his legs. Sportacus rolled his eyes and put Bessie down on her side in Ella’s nest, hoping it would be enough. Ella always slept with her fathers anyway, so she didn’t mind. Robbie shoved himself as far away from the Human woman as he could manage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how many of you keep track of my tumblr but here: https://robbie-and-the-rottens.tumblr.com/post/156760153121/i-put-a-paypal-donation-link-in-description-itd  
> That post explains the basic situation. You don't have to help. This will be written regardless. I will however set a special Credits Chapter at the end with the usernames of everyone who does donate. Just leave your username in a note with the donation if you want to be listed in that Credits Chapter.


	13. Bessie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Busybody takes things surprisingly well, all things considered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... last chapter sucked. I promise there's a reason for this though.

Bessie woke up only a few hours after passing out. She was dazed, confused, and more than a little fearful of the giant spidery man less than two meters away. It didn’t help that he was glaring at her. She took a sharp intake of breath which caught Sportacus’s attention. His hat was off now. His ears were pointed. Bessie felt dizzy.

“Are you okay?” Sportacus asked.

“I didn’t realize I was nearly drunk enough to see what I think I’m seeing and I really hope this is just a vivid dream.”

Sportacus’s face fell and his mustache drooped. “This is real. I’m sorry. I did say we should part ways but I didn’t know Ella would run out.”

“She’s awake. She can get out.” The spidery man gruffed.

“Be nice, Robbie.” Said Sportacus.

“This is Robbie?” Bessie asked, her mind reeling but doing her best to make sense of the situation. “Oh! I’ve seen your picture. You look… taller in person!”

Robbie scowled and rolled his eyes. The baby spider person, Bessie noticed, was hiding by clinging to the purple fur just behind Robbie’s last leg, staring at her warily. Sportacus seemed entirely at ease, so Bessie forced herself to try and relax.

“I’m sorry Ella scared you.” Sportacus apologized. 

Bessie considered telling the Elf that it was Robbie who had been more frightening, but she didn’t want to be rude. Being impolite to something that looked like it could easily kill her was the worst possible thing she could probably do.

“It’s alright, dear. I should…” She glanced back at Robbie and _oh God the baby was eating a rat._ “I should go.”

“Yes. Get out.” Robbie said plainly, earning a glare from Sportacus.

“Goodbye Bessie.”

Later, when she was safely home and had time to think everything over she called Milford. Stephanie was the one who answered. Apparently Milford had already gone to bed. Regardless, she let loose what she had seen and was surprised to know that Stephanie already knew Robbie personally.

“He acts grumpy, but he’s really a big softie. Ella’s really cute!” Stephanie assured cheerfully.

Bessie wasn’t sure whether she felt concerned that the children apparently visited the creature frequently, or relieved none of them had been hurt. Sportacus wouldn’t put the children in danger. Then again, Sportacus was in an evidently serious enough relationship with a spider monster to have a family and everything Bessie knew about what was real and what wasn’t had been overturned. 

Should she tell the parents of the town? Would they believe her? Milford would believe her, and probably handle the situation with much less stress. Milford was a bit dim though. He wasn’t stupid, of course, but naive. It was charming most of the time, but in others… Well. This seemed like a serious situation and Milford took a lot of things too well to really be thinking about them properly.

She made herself a small pot of coffee, decaf since it was late. She put on her reading glasses and took a book from the end table next to her bed and opened it. Her eyes roamed the words, but she hit the drifting stage of reading almost immediately. She realized quite suddenly why Sportacus had kept Robbie out of the town’s attention. If she fainted just from meeting him, who knew what a crowd would do? This was Lazytown, not Lynchtown.

Sportacus was an Elf. He could hide his ears, and had been hiding them since he arrived in town. Robbie was… Bessie didn’t know what he was but his buggish body was certainly not something that could just be hidden with a hat. A lot of people didn’t like what was different. Before, she assumed Robbie was a hermit or something, but now she had to wonder how long he had actually been around and if he had been lonely before Sportacus came to town. Evidently not too lonely considering the baby. There had to be at least one more.

She decided she would tell Milford, but not the others. Not yet at least.


	14. Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glanni returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glanni... Why...?  
> Ella does not like Glanni at all.

Days passed and no mob of scared adult Humans showed up to the den, which was good. Robbie didn’t feel like fighting or running. He was happy where he was, his sleepy Elf under his legs while slowly reading a simple book. 

Ella had spun her first thread, making a general mess due to the discovery. She was now hanging upside down from the ceiling, one of her Papa’s legs idly helping her swing.

This was how the Fae found them, crashing into the den like he owned it and then tripping over his heels.

 _“Shit!”_ Glanni hissed as he hit the floor, then sprung up. “Hello babies! Guess where I’ve been?”

Ella dropped from her thread and ran to hide behind her fathers. Robbie growled, but didn’t move. Sportacus looked up, having not expected to see the Fae so soon, or even at all.

Glanni pouted. “You aren’t going to guess? You two are boring.”

“You could have been anywhere. I can only imagine you accomplished something though…” Robbie said, curling his legs closer to his body defensively.

Sportacus had to put in an effort to escape the safety of the leg cage. While he did that, Glanni knocked everything off of the shelf with his hip and then sat on it. Thankfully the shelf was well made.

“Where have you been, then?” Sportacus asked.

“Fiver’s bed.” Glanni answered bluntly.

Sportacus choked on his own saliva. “What? Why!?”

Robbie clicked and rolled his eyes.

“Because I could. Anyway, I have dirt on the idiot now. He’s got direct connections to the silk farms.” Gilani explained. “Guess who has his fingers in Pixie Dust?” 

“I thought the farms prevented poaching. Isn’t that why they remove the venom glands?” Sportacus asked.

Robbie scoffed. “The glands are removed so they can't bite the handlers. Same goes for the fangs.”

“Sweeties… Where do you think the glands _go?_ Honestly, are all Elves so ditzy?” Glanni sighed, shaking his head. “They take out the venom, put the Driders to work, breed them, and then just take more from the new Driders as soon as their venom glands develop. All the venom goes through Five to be ‘disposed of’ but he just sells it to refiners.”

Robbie shifted uncomfortably, Ella could be heard skittering out of sight. Sportacus was appalled at the new information. Five had never been a particularly nice Elf, but the fact he was involved in something so awful was a shock.

“How do you know he’s the one doing that?”

“Drunk Elves are mouthy. Or not mouthy enough depending on definition. The fact he couldn’t lie to me helped.”

Sportacus only contemplated the morality of Glanni apparently sleeping with the functioning leader of the Hidden People for information for a moment before deciding Five was doing much worse to many other People. If the man felt used, well. The Driders were being used in a far more serious fashion. 

“You didn’t force anything, did you?” Sportacus felt compelled to ask.

The look Glanni shot him could have killed a Gorgon. “I’m a businessman, not a total sleaze. He fully encouraged me. Everything was consented and the only one with regrets so far is me.”

“Oh. I’m sorry?”

“Don’t be honey, I’m sure your stamina is just fine.” The Fae shifted his eyes from Sportacus to the Drider and raised a brow, silently asking if he was correct.

Robbie held up his thumb, confirming the guess. Sportacus was confused by this, the joke going right over his head. He wondered what stamina had to do with anything. When he finally got the implication he rubbed a hand over his face.

“There is a _child_ in the den.” He reminded.


	15. Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look who's talking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow the chapter summary is such an old reference, has anybody even seen that movie!?
> 
> ART!: http://psycho-moose-sammy.tumblr.com/image/156786577702

Glanni left shortly after he reported what he had learned, claiming that he had ‘shit to do’ and that he needed to find Ithrotaalfurin to tell him as well. Ella only came out from hiding under her Papa about 15 minutes after he had left and the feeling of magic had gone with him.

Since everyone was stressed, and Ella needed a bath anyway, the family made their way to the stream. Sportacus had been attempting to teach the little girl how to swim every time they came here. Robbie could wade, but the water was a bit too deep for the Driderling. Driders did not naturally know how to swim. Most tended to avoid any water that they couldn’t easily stand in. Ella had been understandably terrified at first, but now she just allowed the lessons to happen without bothering to try. She knew her fathers would never let her sink. Sportacus just wanted her to learn to avoid accidents when she was bigger and could wander by herself.

“She’s not going to play in the water by accident and drown if she shies away from the water in the first place.” Robbie assured, amused.

“You play in water.” Sportacus countered.

“I _bathe_ in water.” Robbie corrected. “Playing is for children and Elves.”

Sportacus shook his head fondly. “Okay Robbie.”

After an hour Ella finally figured out how to float. She still didn’t like being in the water more than necessary though, and was happy to be out of it once her bath and swimming lesson was done. As soon as she hit dry ground she took off running, having to be chased down by her Pabbi to be toweled off. 

When she was caught, the child huffed and gestured to her mouth with one hand. All the air left the Elf’s lungs for a moment, and she did it again.

It was the sign for ‘food’.

He picked the girl up, twirled her and ran over to Robbie. “ROBBIE SHE SAID HER FIRST WORD!”

Robbie flinched at the shouting, but halted in his own grooming to step toward them. “Really? What did she say?”

Almost on cue, Ella made the sign again and squirmed. She was getting annoyed at the fact she felt like her request was being ignored.

“Of course her first word would be asking for food.” Robbie chuckled.

“All babies need lots of food and rest.” Sportacus stated matter-of-factly.

Robbie rolled his eyes, transferring the child from the Elf’s arms to his back. He hadn’t finished combing his fur and his hair was still wet and tousled. Sportacus grinned, pulling his mate down gently to kiss him before cartwheeling back to the den.

“Your Pabbi is crazy.” Robbie told the baby.

Ella just signed ‘food’ again from where she clung to his side, her nose scrunching adorably.

“Yes, yes. There’s a raccoon in the den with your name on it.”

There was a letter next to the den when Sportacus got there. It was a yellow envelope weighed down against the wind with a rock. The only thing written on the envelope was ‘Robbie’, so he waited for his mate and child to catch up instead of just dropping into the hole in the ground.

When Robbie got close, Sportacus handed him the letter. Robbie sniffed the paper and frowned. 

“What’s this?”

“I don’t know. Somebody left it for you.” Sportacus shrugged, taking the envelope and opening it once he realized Robbie had never gotten a letter and didn’t know what to do with it. 

He handed the paper back once opened. Robbie looked it over, frowned, and handed it back. 

“I can’t read that. It’s all swoopy.”

Sportacus took it back again, realizing it was all in cursive. He decided to read it aloud for his mate.

“Dear Robbie,  
“We have been made aware of your presence in town. We knew you were here before now, but not what you are. We know now and we would all like to meet you and learn about you.  
“Signed; Milford Meanswell.”

“No.” Robbie answered bluntly. “That’s a trap. I’ll have to dig a new den somewhere.” 

“It’s probably fine.” Sportacus assured.

Robbie grunted. “You shouldn’t have brought a Human here. The brats are fine but the adults are just as bad Elves.”

“The Mayor is nice! And he’s the Mayor, he won’t let anyone in town hurt you or Ella.”

Robbie met his Elf’s eye, skeptical.

“ _I_ won’t let anyone hurt you. I’ll be with you both the whole time. If you want to go to the meeting, that is.”

Robbie crawled into the den. Sportacus sighed, accepting that as a decision, and was surprised when Robbie crawled back out a minute later, hair fixed and clothing straightened. Ella was still on his back happily gnawing at the raccoon she had been promised. Robbie shoved one of the quart bottles of beef blood at Sportacus, along with one of the milk bottles. The Elf took the hint and put it in his backpack, along with his hat. If Robbie was going to show himself then it was only fair he do the same.


	16. Open Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Public Speaking is one of the most popular fears. For introverts it is absolute torture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo my boy's got some shit to say!

Everyone in town had gathered in Town Hall in the main room. Due to this, nobody was outside to see the Elf and the Driders walking up the path, hand in hand. Every fiber of Robbie’s being was screaming to turn around, hide, and keep his family safe. He trusted his mate, though. If it turned out badly, well, it was a small town. More of a village, really. Even a weak Elf could hold off a few Humans and Driders were all reasonably well suited to self defense.

As it turns out, Robbie had a very difficult time fitting through doors. The entrance to his den wasn’t as narrow and he had gravity helping him. In this case though, he got stuck. One one hand, the adults of the town were much less intimidated by him due to the fact he was stuck in a door and on the other hand _Robbie was stuck in a door._

The kids moved to help, but all except Stephanie were held back by their concerned parents. Stephanie had no leverage to budge him and Sportacus didn’t want to risk hurting him so he was left in the doorway for now. He was embarrassed, but nobody had moved to attack him so Robbie would count this as a win.

A collective gasp rose from the small crowd as Ella left her Papa’s back to crawl into Stephanie’s arms. The baby signed the one word she knew, showing Stephanie the half-eaten raccoon. The pink girl grimaced, but praised the baby for learning despite her disgust at the dead animal. The parents were less enthused by the child’s meal. 

Bessie, seeing the others start to stir, grew worried. Perhaps it had been a mistake to tell Milford. The Mayor just wanted everyone to feel welcomed in the community and explained there was a non-human in town, or near enough, before the trio had gotten here. Stephanie had helped her uncle explain since she had experience with Robbie, but seeing the Drider in person put them at unrest. 

Acutely aware that she was the voice of reason behind the bumbling Mayor and the fact the whole town knew it to, she strode toward Robbie. Her heels clicked loudly against the hard floor. Everyone fell into a hush as they watched her. Stephanie moved out of her way. Once close enough, the woman extended her hand to shake.

“Welcome to the community, Mister Robert.”

Hesitantly, he took the hand offered. “It’s not Robert. Just Robbie is fine, though.”

Sportacus grinned at the exchange and looked to the small crowd. They still seemed nervous, but less fearful. There was an air of awe in the room, and the momentary calm allowed Jives to break away from his mother’s grip on his shoulder. He ran up to the Mayor’s podium and snatched the microphone.

“Yo! Uh…” The boy began, visibly shaking. “Spiderdude’s a real chill dawg, ya know?” His voice cracked and he was sweating, terrified of public speaking but powering through it. He looked to Sportacus, who nodded his encouragement. The boy took a breath and dropped the ‘cool dude’ facade. “Look, Robbie’s just a guy. He’s got a lot of legs and his kid eats- what is that, a raccoon? Yeah? His kid eats raccoons and drinks blood but Mom, Dad, that’s like half of where we’re getting money to run the shop. Miss Zweets! All of us buy candy just to give it to Robbie. The cake too. He’s got an addiction or something.”

Robbie snorted at that but didn’t protest. 

“They aren’t eating any of us. Robbie could have. He didn’t. He just eats animals and cake. I’ve only seen Sportacus eat sportscandy but I know everybody else here has had a burger.”

The boy finished his speech, tears falling clearly. The microphone hit the floor with a loud bang, startling everyone. Done with what he had to say he ran back to his mother, sobbing into her shoulder. Sportacus and all of the children clapped for him, including Ella as she copied the others. Pixel reached over to pat his back. While that was happening Robbie finally escaped the door to back out and stand outside. Sportacus held the door open for him so he and the townsfolk could see each other. 

Milford took the microphone back from where Jives had dropped it. “Well as you can all see, Robbie is already a part of the community. As the partner of Sportacus we should welcome him and, uh, what was the little one’s name?”

“Ella!” Stephanie answered cheerfully as she was trying to free her hair from the baby’s grasp.

“Yes, of course. Ella.” The Mayor turned his attention from the crowd to Robbie. “Do you have anything to say?”

“You need bigger doorways.” Robbie responded dryly.

That got a quiet chuckle from several people. 

Sportacus spoke up now, “Why don’t we all go outside where everybody can fit?” He suggested, taking his child back into his arms.

Reluctantly, the rest followed. Everyone gathered at the sports field. Sportacus set Ella down to let her walk around. It was her first ever time on anything other than grass or soil and she was extremely careful about touching it. Ziggy wandered over to play with her.


	17. Adjustments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stingy's mom is totally a pta mom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bitchy pta mom.  
> I'll be taking a break tomorrow. Just for one day. I live with a two-year-old and an infant and I love them but there's constant noise, which I can't handle indefinitely. Their grandmother is coming over to watch them and I'm just going to take the day to destress, eat something I don't feel obligated to share. Updates should resume Tuesday.

Miss Spendthrift was the first to speak up directly about the situation. “I’m not sure how I feel about monsters in _my_ town.”

Sportacus winced and took a breath to speak, but his mate beat him to it.

“I’m not sure how I feel about strange women trying to court _my_ mate but I still have to hear about it every time you try it.” 

Sportacus did his best to tune out of the conversation and talked to Mister Troubleby instead, who was telling him about how much better Trixie had been behaving since visits to the forest, but his ear was focused on Robbie anyway.

“Why should he be loyal if you’re not?” Miss Spendthrift countered, not about to be outdone.

_”Excuse me?”_

“Well, the baby is clearly yours. You must have had a lady hidden away. You couldn’t have possibly adopted a child that looks exactly like you.” 

Robbie was shocked into speechlessness, a cold fury in his eyes. Altogether the rage melted into grief. Sportacus had to step in.

“Excuse me, Mister Troubleby.” He said, stepping quickly to Robbies aid and placing a comforting hand to his shoulder, gently nudging him to step away before he turned to the woman. “Ella was his sister’s.”

“Oh?” Miss Spendthrift’s scowl turned to concern at the Elf’s tone, sudden understanding dawning on her face. “ _Oh…_ I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize…”

Robbie took Sportacus’s backpack and turned, scooping Ella up from where she was scribbling with chalk Trixie had given her. She clung to his fur easily, happy for the purple familiarity. The two wound up settling next to one of the low yellow walls out of the way. He took the blood bottle and emptied it into the milk bottle, shaking it before handing it over to the toddler who took it and drank ravenously. Jives walked over to sit with them. 

Sportacus watched his family for a moment before turning back to Stingy’s mother. “You never know what someone else is going through, so it’s best to always be as nice as possible.” 

There were some changes made after that. One example was the Robbie would go into town to buy blood and cake instead of having Sportacus or one of the children do it. All money to pay for things was Sportacus’s of course, who had started doing odd-jobs around town since he was no longer funded by the Numbered. 

Robbie thought of trying to get a job, but wasn’t sure what he could do and he was happier to have all the time he needed to watch Ella and hunt. Pixel had shown him some computers and personal inventions and the Drider took a liking to that. He soon discovered he had a hidden talent for tinkering so after that he begun seeing to broken toys and things of the like. 

Robbie also made a little dress for Ella, identical to the little ballerina in the music box she loved so much. Sportacus said it would be her birthday soon. Driders didn’t bother with annual celebrations like that since they didn’t keep track of days, only seasons. The Elf clearly thought it was important though, so Robbie would indulge in it for him. Besides, apparently birthdays revolved around cake, according to the kids. 

Most of the adults avoided Robbie when he walked about town. That was fine by him. Better ignored than attacked, which he still somewhat expected. 

The Mayor and Bessie were kind. Jives’s parents always greeted him with a smile. Misses Junkfud even kept raw trimmings from various meats they cut from to give to Ella as treats since she was more often than not hanging off of her Papa. Both the Junkfuds and the Zweets started a window service since Robbie couldn’t fit through the doors. 


	18. A Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glanni continues to surprise me, Mr. Author. You'd think he'd let me in on what he's doing but you'd be wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glanni might actually be self-aware. I can't plan around him because he pulls this shit.
> 
> Also my day off ended up being only like an hour before my help was needed because I'm not allowed to fucking rest. Didn't even get to meet up with my glorious boyfriend, Taco Bell. Writing is the only thing keeping me sane.

Ithrotaalfurin came back about a week before Ella’s birthday, surprised to see the Drider letting himself be seen so freely. The older Elf also noticed his son was also no longer hiding his ears. There were quite a few secrecy guidelines being broken here, but Lazytown was pretty cut off from other places so it probably didn’t matter. Guidelines were not laws anyway.

If anything, the townsfolk being relatively open to Driders may have just solved one of the more pressing problems. The farm Driders would need somewhere safe to go, at least temporarily. Ithrotaalfurin talked it over with the Mayor, who explained the situation to the rest of the town and let them put it to a vote. It was a close call but the fact the children had been permitted to contribute to the decision meant that any new Driders would be allowed to stay as long as they caused no trouble.

Glanni showed up a few days after Ithrotaalfurin did, took quick notice that nobody was bothered by two Elves and a Drider, and so he wasted no energy hiding his wings. He thrived on the praise of the children, telling him how pretty his wings were. Glanni and the children eventually grew bored of each other within a few hours.

“I _am_ here for a reason.” Glanni stated finally, addressing the Elves. “I managed to get you an audience with the Queen next full moon. I also got some pictures for you to show her, since you can’t go making claims without evidence.”

The Fae handed Nine a thick envelope. He opened it, taking the pictures out and letting out a scoff.

“Glanni, these are just you naked.” The older Elf deadpanned, stuffing the pictures back.

“Are they? I must have mixed them all together.” Gilani grinned. “Some of them are the farms, refinery, and some are my lingerie. You get to dig. Have fun honey.”

Ithrotaalfurin looked to the sky and it was obvious to Sportacus that his father was praying for patience. Robbie snorted from where he lay near the basketball hoop. Ella was hanging from the hoop, having gotten used to the Fae’s presence and ignoring him in favor of playing. 

Robbie had actually grown to like the Fae. As with Trixie, he could appreciate a talent for mischief. The rocky start had put a damper on things but once he accepted Glanni was a self-serving hedonist and nothing was personal it was much easier to get along with him.

“I’ll get Five to the Queen at the same time. It shouldn’t be too difficult, the bastard thinks he’s in love with me.”

“Thinks?” Sportacus asked.

“He’s in love with the false idea of me I’ve given him.” Glanni clarified, waving his hand vaguely. “Or he just likes my ass. I’m not entirely sure which.”

Sportacus’s eyes flickered to the toddler nearby, but by now knew there was no stopping the Fae from saying what he wanted. To ask him to filter himself would probably be taken as an insult.

“Why does Five need to be included?” Ithrotaalfurin asked. “We just need to see the Queen.”

Glanni leaned forward into the older Elf’s personal space and tapped his nose. “Five pissed me off. I want to see his shame in person.” He explained softly in what was almost a purr.

Sportacus left the two, unwilling to see the possibility of the Fae kissing his father, and sat with Robbie instead. Robbie chuckled at his discomfort and took him into his arms. Thankfully for Sportacus, Nine took a step back from the Fae.

Ella crawled down from the basketball hoop and into Sportacus’s lap and grabbed his nose. He ‘beep’ed for her and she laughed. Robbie chuckled and opened Sportacus’s backpack to get a bottle of water for her. He signed ‘drink’ to her, only letting her have it after she repeated the gesture. Sportacus had been trying to get her to sign ‘thank you’ as well but manners was a concept she wasn’t quite ready for.

Robbie yawned, and leaned heavily on his Elf’s shoulder. “Glanni is going to court your father eventually.”

“No. He isn’t.” Sportacus protested. “Pabbi doesn’t trust him.”

“I didn’t trust you at first.” Robbie pointed out. “I thought Elves mated for life.”

The slight change in subject caught Sportacus off-guard. “We do. What’s confusing?”

“I’ve never seen your mother. Or even heard her mentioned.”

Sportacus sighed. “She was human. She just… got old. Pabbi could have kept her young but she didn’t want that.”

“Oh.” Robbie nodded, not sure if he should apologize for bringing it up or offer condolences.

“It’s fine. She lived happily.” Sportacus assured.

“Is that why you don’t have any magic?” Glanni butted in, uninvited.

“I have a little!” 

The Fae snickered, earning a glare from both Robbie and Ithrotaalfurin. Noticing the look on her family’s faces she tried an angry look of her own. It was far cuter than it was threatening.

“Pabbi Dear-”

“Don’t call me that.” Ithrotaalfurin interrupted, but Glanni continued.

“-says you have family in the main farm. I could buy them for you if things go badly.”

Robbie stiffened. “What would I owe you for that?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t owe me. Nine would.”

“How exactly does that work?” The older Elf asked, confused.

“Because you have to agree for me to do anything!” Glanni explained gleefully. “See, if I don’t do anything further to help without your permission to help, you will have to owe me a favor before I do anything else. Including the fact what I do may not be for you specifically.”

Regrettably, the reasoning made perfect sense.

“Alright. _If_ you buy Robbie’s family, then what do you want from me?”

Glanni crossed his arms and shifted his weight to his hip, his wings folding slightly behind him. “A chance.”

Ithrotaalfurin looked to Robbie, then back to the Fae, searching his face. There was a certain vulnerability there, past the barbs that usually guarded him. The Elf sighed when he saw this.

“Fine.”


	19. Extended Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get some new faces!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think writing about Huldufolk so restlessly has gotten the attention of one because there's been tapping in my room at night and it always stops when I turn my phone light where I know its coming from.
> 
> I do believe in Faerie and I'm going to start leaving honey out because I don't want to piss them off.
> 
> To be fair I might just be tired...

Ella had her birthday at the den. It was basically just a picnic with cake, half of which Robbie ate all on his own. The baby was in her dress, tugging at it as she wasn’t used to clothes but recognizing it as the same dress on her ballerina. She also received a teddy bear from Sportacus, which she had nearly torn open before it was taken so she had time to register it wasn’t food. It would need stitching at the neck, but she figured out it was for cuddling soon enough.

Ithrotaalfurin brought paper flowers to weave into the child’s hair. She picked most of them out when he was done, but several were stuck there until one of her fathers would remove them. Glanni bestowed a blessing of persuasion, as if the child wasn’t already spoiled rotten enough.

Stephanie brought her flashcards, Pixel a learning game, Jives a bag of fried pork skins, Trixie a whoopie cushion, Ziggy a coloring book, and Stingy… Well, boxes were fun to play in. Stingy also gave Robbie a written apology from his mother, which Glanni took to laugh about when the kids had all gone home.

Glanni left almost immediately after the little birthday party ended, claiming he had business elsewhere. This surprised no-one. Ithrotaalfurin stayed. It wasn’t long before the next full moon and they had an appointment with the Queen after all. The older Elf didn’t need to end up busy elsewhere and miss the day.

Glanni came back two days later with what had been Sportacus’s old airship. He landed it roughly, almost dropping it sideways. It actually rolled in a fashion that made Sportacus slightly motion sick just to see it. When the door opened, several Driders stepped out. 

All three of Robbie’s brothers exited the ship and stepped onto the grass. They flocked to Sportacus as they saw him, the two that could speak doing so animatedly in a mix of Drider and Elvish that was too fast for him to even begin understanding.

After the striped trio was a green-furred woman with dark skin. She was missing one of her far hind legs and the ring finger and pinky of her right hand. She was visibly shaking, whether from the ride or trauma was unclear. After her was a small boy that shared her dark skin, though a bit lighter. His hair was black and his fur was green with blue streaks through it.

Robbie left his den a few minutes after the ship had landed, obviously woken up by it and still drowsy, but his hair had been fixed. Bobby, Tobby, and Flobby ran to him as soon as he was in sight, practically scrambling over each other in their haste.

Glanni left the ship with a flourish of wings and strode over to Sportacus. “Where’s Nine? I could only buy these few but a Deal’s a Deal, right?”

“He’s in town I think.” Sportacus answered, a little shocked by the fact there were two extras. 

Glanni only agreed to get Robbie’s family out, so why was the woman, and who he could only assume was her son here now? Not that he would ever complain. They were free now. Still, it wasn’t like the Fae to do more than the bare minimum.

He let the brothers catch up and slowly approached the woman, his hands raised and keeping his head low. He was greeted with a silent, fangless snarl as the woman pushed her son behind her and he climbed onto her back. Sportacus stopped, fixing his eyes on the ground.

“Nobody is going to hurt you here. I want to help you. Do you understand?” He asked softly.

The Drideress calmed, but did not answer. She took a few careful steps forward, and Sportacus put all of his focus into not moving. Close up, he could tell just how big the women of this species were. The lady would easily tower over his mate if they stood near each other. She bent forward, sniffing the Elf, then snorting.

A warning growl came from behind him, Robbie’s voice. The woman glared, not intimidated by a male in the slightest, but backed off anyway. Sportacus let out a relieved sigh.

Ella was absolutely in awe of seeing so many People like her. She got downright giddy at the sight of the boy, who dropped from his mother’s back to meet her. He was older, probably five or six, and a bit bigger. Ella knocked him down easily, regardless. They ended up chasing each other around the open space between the billboard and forest. 

“They are cousins, apparently.” Robbie told Sportacus, sitting next to him. “Flobby’s son. The children with voices were killed as soon as they cried.”

Sportacus felt his heart fall into his stomach. He knew the Driders were being bred for silence, but it hadn’t occurred to him that the babies that didn’t fit would be culled.

“I thought women killed their mates.” Sportacus pointed out.

“Oh, Flobby never touched her. She didn’t get the chance to kill him.” Robbie explained, then switched to his own language to say something to his brothers.

Tobby clicked back in response.

“They got to growl at each other through cages for a day. After that everything was done by handlers.” Robbie explained further.

“Oh.” Sportacus winced. “Are they both okay?”

“Flobby seems to be. I can’t tell about the woman.”

Sportacus took a deep breath, needing to calm his nerves. He was highly disappointed in his own People for allowing such abuse. He was also angry with those that were actually inflicting the damages.


	20. Perception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lesson on names and the beginnings of change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flow is weird here and I apologize. Might do a oneshot with Willow and Bessie talking about Milford because They Would.

The woman’s name turned out to mean ‘tree’ which was changed to Willow for an English version. The boy was called Jay. Robbie explained Driders were almost always given natural names, something tangible they could use to introduce themselves if they couldn’t speak. His own name was actually Robin. Bobby was Bobwhite, another sort of bird. Flobby was Flower.

“What about Tobby?” Sportacus asked

“I don’t really know. Mother never pointed anything out for him so I assume he just wanted to rhyme with us and named himself.” Robbie shrugged.

“And Charlotte?” 

“Char, like from fire.”

Sportacus nodded, watching as the three other brothers, Ella’s uncles, joined in on the Driderlings’ game of tag. Willow had settled near the treeline, bristling any time anybody got too close to her liking. It was more than understandable. She had been through a lot and was still scared.

The new Driders wound up sleeping in the school gymnasium since they had no dens of their own. The double doors were easy enough to fit through. Much easier than single doors at least, though Willow had to duck.

The townsfolk were a bit nervous, evidently not having expected new Driders to actually show up even though they had voted about it. Stephanie also set up a class for Willow, Flobby, and Jay to learn to sign even though none of them had a good handle on English. If Ella could learn from scratch, so could they. Anyone was allowed to sit in on the lessons as well, so soon all of the children were learning as well as a few of the adults. Bessie was one of them and oddly enough Willow took a liking to the secretary.

Glanni and Ithrotaalfurin were mysteriously missing for the entire day before the full moon. When they finally returned and set up to leave, Sportacus noticed the Fae had a bent wing. He very deliberately Did Not Ask and thanked the Gods Glanni had apparently _finally_ learned when to shut up.

The balloon ride was thankfully void of Glanni’s commentary for the first few hours as Ithrotaalfurin tried to help him straighten his wing. The peace could only last so long though, before the Fae resumed flirting with the older Elf and Sportacus was bewildered when his father didn’t instantly reject the advanced. Concerned, he reached out with what little magic he had to search for any traces of a glamour, but found none. _Well, as long as Pabbi was in his right mind._

Sportacus was concerned about the fact Glanni was the type to sleep around and still claimed to be dating the president, the latter of which he realized was more of an inside joke than fact. Joke or not, he didn’t want his father getting his heart stomped on by a pair of chunky heels. He was respectful and wouldn't interfere, but he couldn't bring himself to completely trust Glanni. With time, maybe that would change. Ithrotaalfurin _had_ known the Fae longer.

“Ugh, your balloon is slow as shit.” Glanni complained suddenly.

He jumped out of the balloon to fly on his own, wobbling a bit in the air. Both Elves were concerned he would fall, but he soon glided out of sight.

“So,” Sportacus began awkwardly. “How did his _chance_ go?”

The older Elf grew serious, clearly thinking of how to word his answer. He turned, leaning forward on the wall of the basket.

“He surprised me.” He finally said, quiet.

That wasn’t the answer Sportacus expected. He wanted to point out that Glanni had poisoned a town at one point, and the fact he had been sleeping with Five for weeks now, but Ithrotaalfurin didn’t offer any more words, so he let it go. To be fair, Robbie had poisoned Sportacus once and the Fae was with Five for their benefit in the first place. His father probably had enough to think about already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister now has an AO3 account. She is my hero and the reason I started writing and she's way better at it than me. If you like Harry Potter I strongly recommend checking her out.
> 
> Link to her fic: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9616388/chapters/21725213


	21. The Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange as it is, Glanni was apparently completely honest when he said the Queen likes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how Glanni called the Queen Her Royal Whoreness. She totally knows and thinks it's funny, but only coming from him.

The Queen was pale with impossibly long white hair and silver eyes, rumored to be born of the moon. She was a quiet Elven woman, keeping to her palace and only ever really coming out to make appearances. 

She could enforce or reject changes in the society if she wanted, but had largely left those decisions to the Numbered for a few centuries. She had appointed the first three and trusted them to function without her. She was very old and wanted to be left alone. She only kept company of those who could amuse her.

Glanni was one such person. The Queen felt his honest dishonesty a fun contrary. The Fae was a walking, and sometimes flying, contradiction. He brought her strange things, told her stories, and had earned much of her favor despite often referring to her with a highly crude nickname. This made it easy for him to convince her to talk to what he referred to as his friends.

He arrived to the Queen’s garden with one of probably several mates on his arm. One of the Numbered, she noticed, though not one she had appointed. Three had trained Four, and Four had trained this one. He was handsome and held himself as if he were the most important person in the vicinity. The Queen decided very quickly that she disliked his attitude. Even Glanni bowed before her, but the Elf clearly had no such respect.

“Is this one of the friends you wanted to meet with me?” The Queen asked.

“Nope! My friends are still on their way. Slow fliers, you know? This is important though. I was thinking we should move this meeting to the Capitol?”

The Queen raised a brow. Glanni winked. The Elf watched the exchange with barely masked confusion. She wasn’t impressed, but her favored was clearly up to something that had potential to be interesting. Age had made the woman very bored of most things, so she loved a chance at excitement.

“I see.” She stood, brushing off her navy dress with grass-stained hands. “What happened to your wing?” She asked, openly ignoring the fifth hero now.

Five appeared annoyed. How silly.

“A goat pushed me out of a tree.” Glanni answered, fluttering the appendage for a moment as he fell into step beside the woman.

Five lagged behind. “You didn’t answer when I asked. That’s a clear lie anyway. What would a goat be doing in a tree?”

“Goats can do a surprising number of things in trees, actually. They have amazing balance.” Glanni countered.

Five felt like he was missing an incredibly funny joke. He also felt like the joke was at his expense somehow, but not entirely sure why he felt that way. That would make the joke considerably less funny. Ah, well. Glanni had told him he had a surprise for him and the annoyance he felt at being left out of the loop would probably be worth it.

The citizens were surprised to see the Queen out and about, bowing respectfully as she passed. Almost none looked directly at her. 

_Good._ Glanni thought, _She still holds authority._

They settled at a table in the Courtyard of the Capitol. It was reserved for the Queen and guests, in sight of the public but above them. As soon as she sat down a young satyr appeared to see if she needed or wanted anything. She waved him away, but Glanni requested rose wine before the servant left. 

Five sat next to the Fae and crossed his arms. “You haven’t told me what friends you are waiting for, Rikki…” 

“Telling you would spoil the surprise, dear one.” Glanni replied, taking the whole bottle of wine when the satyr brought it back, rejecting a glass in favor of drinking straight from the bottle.

The Queen smiled, far better at reading faces than the hero. She also took notice of the false name. She could tell her friend was toying with the Elf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how Ithro said Five thinks he looks like a goat? That's it. That's the joke.


	22. Disgraced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Queen is made aware of the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dishonor on Five! Dishonor on his cow!

The balloon stopped just outside of the Capitol building. Ithrotaalfurin dropped the rope into the Courtyard, sliding down and tethering it before his son followed him. He didn’t fully land it because he hoped this would be a short and easy visit. The Queen, Glanni, and Five were already there waiting for them.

“What in _Helheim_ are you doing here?” Five shouted as soon as Sportacus touched down. “I thought I told you to avoid my sight.”

“You did.” Sportacus confirmed. “I did some thinking and decided I don’t have to listen to you if I don’t work for you.”

Glanni smirked past the lip of the wine bottle before setting it down and standing, flouncing his way to Nine’s side. The Queen simply watched, patiently waiting for everyone to get to the point. Five looked scandalized as the Fae left his side for Nine’s so quickly.

“A People is being treated incredibly unfairly, like animals, Highness. Possibly worse than animals.” Ithrotaalfurin began, and set the relevant photographs on the table.

Five seethed as the Queen looked through the pictures, a frown growing on her face as more of the situation became clear to her. When she came to the last one she turned it around. It depicted Five at a table, holding a beaker over a flame. There was an obstruction in the corner, as if the camera had been hidden and the picture taken in secret.

“What is this, Fáviti?” The woman ask.

Five shuddered visibly at being referred to by his true name. “That is just a simple bit of chemistry work.”

“Yes. I’m sure.” She deadpanned and turned to Nine. 

“Five has been heavily involved in Pixie Dust and has also been treating Driders as livestock for silk to cover it up.” Ithrotaalfurin explained quickly. “I actually think true livestock is better cared for.”

The Queen turned back to Five, tilting her head. “Deny it.”

“I…” Five paled, struggling with himself to speak, but he could tell no lies. “This is ridiculous! They are animals!”

Quick as a flash, the Queen reached across the table, hooking her fingers into the hero’s hair and pushing his face against the table. She held him down as she stood and circled close around the table, her face stern as if scolding a child. The various Peoples below looked up, their Monarch’s anger tangible in the air. 

Ithrotaalfurin nudged his son to back up, out of any possibility of getting in the woman’s way. Sportacus’s crystal hummed softly in warning. Glanni looked on with an expression of sadistic glee.

“We are _all_ animals.” The Queen stated quietly, and dragged the disgraced Elf closer to the edge of her raised Courtyard where her subjects would see better. “All People are my children. I know each of you by Name and I love you.” She took a knife from her sleeve with her free hand, placing the iron-plated edge of the serrated blade behind Five’s ear. “You are no longer of Mine.”

The blade sliced easily through flesh and the Elf cried out. His sobs continued as the pale woman did the same to the other ear, separating the points from his head. The crowd that had gathered below drew a collective gasp at the severed flesh that fell among them.

She released his hair and tore the Elf’s crystal from his belt, tossing it to the floor in front of Glanni who took the order without having to be asked. He crushed the stone under his heel. Five fell to his knees and screamed. The Queen kicked him off of the edge, letting him fall to the street below where he whimpered.

 _“Let him live shunned and Nameless.”_ The ivory woman called to her People. _**“You do not see this man.”**_

Immediately, everyone who could hear her looked away from the shamed Elf. For those not in attendance, she sent a spark through every mind she was connected to with the instruction. 

Glanni ignored the order only long enough to kneel and peer over the edge. The Disgraced looked back up at him hopefully, pleading. Tears flowed freely as he silently begged to be granted at least one friend, or perhaps even a last kind word.

“Your dick is shit.” The Fae called down to him, then looked away as the rest had.


	23. Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let the People go free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to make it happy again after Five is royally fucked up but my heathen hands can't be trusted to type right. Upside though, I ate an actual meal today!
> 
> Also; Nobody ran Five's true name through google translate?

When everyone arrived to the silk farm there were three handlers dead. The Queen’s hivemind order had distracted one while in the process of locking up a female before the bars had fully closed. She had wasted no time bashing heads, angry and just waking up from being sedated. Her clutch of eggs in another cage just across the room was hatching, watched by Elves already armed to euthanize. The Drider did not need her fangs or even claws to throw the smaller People hard enough to crack skulls. She had watched enough Driderlings die, and these were _hers._

After freeing the calmer males, Sportacus found the woman reaching through the bars to her hatching brood, fingers barely ghosting over one of the unprotected shells. Like many others, she appeared to be voiceless, though she was clearly crying. She was not at all happy to see another Elf, but after the exertion of already killing a few and the fact she was malnourished meant she was too exhausted to pick herself up again. Even if she were stronger, she only had five of her legs left. All she could do was glare a warning.

One of the Driderling broke past it’s shell, coughing and crying as soon as it hit the cold air. Dread flashed across the woman’s face and she tried again in vain to reach her child, managing to pull them closer and cover their mouth with her hand.

 _The ones with voices were killed as soon as they cried._ Sportacus remembered, and he slowly lowered himself to his knees. 

“I don’t want to hurt anyone.” He said, moving slowly as he took a key from one of the dead handlers nearest to him.

The woman flinched when he slid the key across to the floor to her. It took her a moment to realize what she was given. She took it, trying to get it into the lock, but her hands were shaking too much and the blood, both from the Elves and her baby made it too difficult. She was too weak and to frantic to do it by herself.

“I’m going to move closer. Okay?” Sportacus told her, unsure if she could understand him or not. 

Evidently she recognised that he was here to help and allowed him closer, though she still flinched away uneasily. Cautiously, she gave him back the key. He opened the bars for her, and she crawled in just as the second baby escaped their egg.

Sportacus backed off and moved to free the other women. Some were heavily sedated, others chained. After that he found a room of adolescents that still had stitches in their necks and gauze in their mouths from recent surgery. He left those alone, making a mental note to himself to have a medic to see to them.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Ithrotaalfurin and Glanni had busied themselves with the males, trying to find those that could speak English or Elvish. None were fluent, but there was enough basic knowledge to explain the situation to those that were monolingual. Glanni kicking over a loom and beating one of the stubborn handlers with their own leather whip helped those that had been discouraged from language since birth to understand.

Within a few hours nearly all of the Driders had gone free. Sportacus went back to the nursery, having not seen the first woman. He found her in the cage surrounded by seven babies. Only two had hatched healthy. The other five were dead, most likely starved. The woman was unconscious as the Driderlings nursed.

He had time to look at them now. She had ginger hair and more freckles than skin, brown fur with white spots. The babies each had her red hair, though lacked the spots. The smaller one had a marking similar to a brown recluse. The bigger was a darker brown. Based on appearance alone, he could tell she seemed a bit too young to be a mother and it was probably, _hopefully_ just her first clutch of eggs.

Unwilling to leave her on her own or to other Elves he didn’t trust, he decided to bring this woman and her offspring back to Lazytown with him. The town had room for just a few more. She would have help.

Fawn, the Drideress’s name in place of anything else to call her, stayed unconscious for the entire trip back. Ithrotaalfurin spent a lot of magic making that possible. Sportacus bought a large portion of meat before leaving which he fed to the babies, checking they were healthy by what raising Ella had taught him. They were one male and one female, at least as far as he could tell. They both had voices, crying clearly every few hours to be fed.

When they got back, Willow took over the care of Fawn and her young. Willow had personal experience in what Fawn had been through after all, and she was older. She was very protective of her new charge for a week before Fawn could stand on her own five feet.

Sportacus was glad of the progress and stayed out of everyone’s way. The Queen had given his Number back and the Driders were free. It wouldn’t stop poaching or discrimination, but they were People again. He was happy just to be back in his mate’s embrace and holding their child. The world could wait. They all needed rest.


	24. Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We end again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...except not really because I still have extras to write.

The Driders in Lazytown adjusted relatively well. Those that could hunt went to the forest. Those that couldn’t make sure to find things they could do, which grew into jobs they were paid for which went to fuel the Junkfuds butchershop. 

Bessie and Milford finally got together, having an autumn wedding after two years. Willow was the sole bridesmaid. Robbie and Sportacus had an official wedding a month afterward, mostly to give everyone else an excuse to party since they were practically married by Elven standards already.

The children grew. Sportacus often wondered where all the time had gone. He was sure Ella had only just been a toddler and now she was just as tall as him, a teenager that Robbie had taken to teaching to hunt. Stephanie was ready to be Numbered if the other heroes approved her. Stephanie’s friends and Jay were young adults. Even Fawn’s children were big enough to travel on their own.

It took those years that passed for the Hidden People to adjust since they had grown used to using Driders for labor. The Queen was more involved now though, and made sure the arachnids were legally protected. It didn’t stop poaching but the main refinery for Pixie Dust had been stripped which slowed the drug circulation. Poaching was given the same consequence as murder.

The Queen actually took the time to visit Lazytown once during winter. She wanted to meet Stephanie personally, having decided that all of her Heroes should be known to her. Despite being Human, the Queen approved her and linked to her mind before making a crystal just for her. Elves were born with their crystals in their mouths, but the Queen had enough magic to bend nature just a little.

Glanni visited very often, having decided Mayhemtown was no longer any fun to mess with which made him less busy. Any time Nine showed up, the Fae had come with him. They spent some of the time with the town and spent the rest in the forest, disappearing for days at a time. Sportacus thought of asking but wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer.

Robbie did ask, purely to see how his mate reacted.

“I like the environment.” Ithrotaalfurin answered shortly.

“We fuck outdoors like real men.” Glanni answered at the same time.

Both Elves cringed, the older blushing and pulling his hat over his face. Glanni and Robbie laughed. Ella, who was thirteen at the time simply rolled her eyes.

“Child present.” Sportacus reminded.

**Nature, Pabbi. It’s not like I never hear you and Papa when you go to the stream at noon.**

That shut Robbie up. Sportacus fled the immediate area to do a few embarrassed laps around town. Robbie followed.

“All the way from the stream? That’s almost a mile!” Glanni asked, morbidly curious if the younger couple was really that loud or if Drider’s just had that good of hearing.

“Please stop.” Ithrotaalfurin groaned.

Ella laughed. **Not really loud. They just aren’t subtle.**

Ithrotaalfurin very loudly changed subjects to how Ella was doing in school. She actually had no need of school, but liked to go anyway. After answering she went on to share her daily life and recurring thoughts.

Life continued.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I wanted to make an entire chapter for credits listing usernames of everybody that donated to help me out. It makes more sense to put it as an endnote, though. Many of you didn't give a username and some wanted to remain anonymous.
> 
> I want to thank all of you that helped, even if all you did was reblog the post. I got to eat something more than other people's leftovers for once because of you and you are all wonderful people.  
> \------------  
> Credits  
> \------------  
> sportadingus - tumblr  
> transvoidkid - tumblr  
> loki-the-great - tumblr  
> kiyarasabel - tumblr  
> official-hodag - tumblr  
> goldenbonnies - tumblr
> 
> heartbreaker - AO3  
> ______________________  
> I counted reblogs as well as donations. I can't thank you all enough. You made life a little easier for a while and I appreciate everything. 
> 
> I'm going to keep donation link up in my tumblr description simply because I still need all the help I can get. I probably will for a while. I'll close the link when I don't need it anymore.
> 
> Anyone is welcome to message me if they want. I still have Extras to write until I run out of ideas but I think main story is done. _I think._ Last time I ended something it wound up with this sequel so no promises but for now I'm going to try to rest.


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